The Last Time
by Kathryn Hart
Summary: After years of traveling on her own and being able to live without him, Rose unexpectedly finds the Doctor in the arms of another woman. Driven by a desperate wanting, she flees into the past and into the arms of one she swore never to return to again. Because it hurt too much. Eleven/River/Nine/Rose. Angst/Romance. Rated T for *minor* adult themes and minor language.


_**Hai guys! I'm back! *throws confetti*. It was a rough winter for my writing, for full details, click on my profile. Anyway, here goes!**_

* * *

 _ **The Last Time**_

 _Kathryn Hart_

 _"One last time_  
 _I need to be the one who takes you home_  
 _One more time_  
 _I promise after that, I'll let you go..."  
~Ariana Grande_

It was a brisk night the evening of February 2nd on the frozen Thames the year of 1814. A frost covered the air but nobody seemed to notice, or if they did, they didn't care. Skaters glided around each other like bees around a honeycomb, while others stood off to the side, eating gingerbread and sipping gin. No one knew it then but it was to be the last of the famous frost fairs.

Everyone appeared to be excited and content, except for one individual. A young, blonde woman stood alone with a look in her eyes that gave her the appearance of being much older than how she looked. She pulled her blue leather jacket closer to her body, trying to keep the warmth close to her and failing.

Hell, and she thought England was cold in her time.

Rose Tyler shivered and tried not to think of lost times long ago, of happy memories in years long gone. The happiest part of her life was over now, and she had made peace with it.

With no real purpose left in her life, all she had the will to do now was wander around her home universe she had returned to and help out wherever she could. After single-handedly ending a revolutionary war on Plantax IV, she had had enough war to last her a lifetime. All she wanted now was somewhere where she could have some peace, at least for a few hours.

She didn't know exactly why her vortex manipulator had brought her here to this time, but she didn't think much of it. It was a pretty nice place. The only thing missing was a warm hand to hold hers. Someone to make her laugh, someone to-

No. She refused to think of him at a time like this. Not when the mere thought of his name would send her spiralling into a dark place she could never get out of.

Rose reached the frozen lake and watched as couples and children floated around in circles like clockwork, buzzing from stand to stall, conversing and laughing. She sat down on the cold ground decided to watch the Londoners for a bit. Maybe she'd get herself some of that gin later, that was what people here were supposed to do, wasn't it? She hardly remembered what it felt like to be human, much less British. Circumstances had aged her in ways that time never could. Huh. Her mother had been right after all.

 _"She's not Rose Tyler. Not anymore. She's not even human."_

Suddenly she was thankful her manipulator had brought her here. She highly doubted that the Doctor would be anywhere around this place. Ice recreation didn't really seem to be his thing, at least when she knew him. He even once specifically told her that he had never learned to ice skate and never planned to. Plus drinking was _definitely_ not his thing as well.

Pushing those thoughts out of her head, she relaxed and let the sounds around her wash away her troubles, closing her eyes for the full effect. _Hey, is that Stevie Wonder singing?_

"Doctor, stop!" Rose jerked up as she heard giggling to the degree of being entirely fake. Whipping her head around, her heart began to race until she saw a woman with big blonde hair pulled up in an updo clutching onto a man with an outrageous fashion sense for the time period. _No. It couldn't be..._

She knew instinctively that this was a future version of the Doctor she used to know, having been shown all his past incarnations by her long-dead husband. Her immediate impression was that he was clumsier than a newborn giraffe, the way he slid and slipped on the ice. The woman with him didn't seem to mind as she continued to laugh and hold on to his arm like her hands were made of glue. Rose could only watch in shock as they finally fell to the ice, the woman landing on top of him (which Rose clearly saw she had done on purpose). They lay there on the ice, staring into each other's eyes, the way her and John... _the Metacrisis_ used to look at each other...like two people madly in love with each other. She hadn't even thought about John for years until this moment. Rose turned away before she would be forced to watch them kiss. The flight instinct within her overtook her suddenly and she leapt up and ran.

However what the Doctor and River Song actually did was stare into each other's eyes awkwardly for a few seconds before they struggled to get back up.

Rose could hear what they were saying as she fled from the scene.

"I thought you told me you could ice skate!"

"I can! I trained back in my Fifth life when I apparently had more grace in my feet."

"So you hate it now?"

"No! I love ice skating, ice skating is cool! Let's try it again! It is your birthday after all. Later we'll head over to the London Bridge where our guest will serenade you personally."

"Oh Doctor, you're too much."

"Anything for my River." Rose couldn't stop the flow of tears now. The knowledge that he had told her otherwise about learning to ice skate only proved just how "deep" their relationship was.

It probably would have done her good to know that this current incarnation of the Doctor was a habitual liar, especially when it came to impressing people.

* * *

After years of being able to be without him, Rose found herself wanting _her_ Doctor badly, needing him desperately.

But she didn't want any bow tie wearing Doctor that had moved on without her, nor a Doctor that only reminded her of her dead husband in another universe.

No, she wanted a Doctor that was all hers, whom she hadn't shared with anybody. Not Sarah Jane, not Reinette, not even Cleopatra. And the only way to find him would be in the past. She set her dial back, knowing exactly where she wanted to go.

* * *

She landed in Cardiff in the summer of 2005, just a few months after her younger self had just met the Doctor.

Not bothering to wipe the tears from her cheeks, she strode up to the TARDIS and rapped on the door soundly. As soon as it opened she threw herself into her Northern Doctor's arms.

"Rose!" He gasped, "Wh-what-" Whatever he was trying to say was cut off as Rose smashed her lips against his. After a moment's hesitation he responded in kind, grabbing the back of her head to pull her closer to himself. She didn't even notice as they entered and the doors slammed behind them.

"Bedroom," she gasped after they backed up into the TARDIS console. Without a single word a door opened up behind them and Rose nearly dragged him to it. The Doctor could have sworn he heard her growl 'mine' as she snogged him again.

At that moment the Doctor was so spun around that he could barely register the fact that one of his deepest desires was finally happening, even if Rose was supposed to be in her room sleeping and without that haunted, aged look in her eyes that he'd never seen before.

As soon as they were inside the Doctor's bedroom, Rose kicked the door shut behind them and the Doctor slammed her against the wall, shoving his tongue inside her mouth. Rose let out a groan that sent a shiver down the Doctor's spine and only goaded him on furiously. Reason screamed at him that this was all wrong, so wrong but he couldn't stop. Every waking dream was quite literally unfolding in front of him and there was no willpower in the universe that could stop him taking her.

In his brief second of indecision Rose regained control and dug one hand into his short-cropped hair and the other behind his neck, her fingers dancing on the tight skin there. Grasping desperately for the upper hand again, the Doctor hoisted her up so her legs were wrapped around his torso and his hands were free to explore the skin under her shirt. After a few more seconds of snogging he decided he'd had enough waiting and flipped her around so they were facing his bed. In one movement she collapsed under him on the mattress and her eyes begged him to continue.

And so he did.

 _"One last time_  
 _I need to be the one who takes you home..."_

* * *

When he would wake up in the morning, alone in his bed, it would cause him to wonder if it had all been a dream.

* * *

When Rose awoke she could tell it was still nighttime. She turned and looked at her first Doctor, sleeping like a child who had been up far past his bedtime. With a watery smile she ran a finger lightly down his slightly unshaven cheek and felt tears fall from her eyes. It'd been so long since she had seen this face, she had lost total control when he opened the door to her just a few hours ago.

She hadn't meant to go so fast, but here they were.

Rose knew the Doctor couldn't remember this properly, else he would have mentioned it to her. So, with delicate fingers on his temple, she reached into his mind and put edges of gray around the beautiful memories, giving them a dream-like quality. She had learned that trick from the monks of the third moon of Lista, but she never thought she'd use it like this. It hurt her deeply to do it but she needed to leave no evidence that she was here, to preserve the timelines. She put him into a deep sleep for good measure.

Within a few minutes she was fully dressed and standing at the foot of the bed. After one last look she was gone, never to return.

 _"Baby, I don't care if you got her in your heart_.  
 _All I really care is you wake up in my arms_.  
 _One last time_ ,  
 _I need to be the one who takes you home."_

* * *

True to her assumption, it was still dark outside the TARDIS when Rose finally made it out. The inside of her chest physically hurt and she took a few deep breaths in order to ease the dual pounding against her ribcage. As she looked upwards into the light of the lamppost a few feet away, she immediately regretted it as it only made her eyes water more.

It hadn't helped really. Sure, _that_ Doctor would always be hers in her heart, but it really didn't matter, did it? The Doctor now belonged to a curly-haired hussy whose hands seemed to stray into places they didn't really belong. Or maybe they did belong there. For all Rose knew they could be married with three kids inside their TARDIS.

 _Their TARDIS_. Those words nearly broke her.

Not that Rose blamed this 'River' for how she acted, which was clearly on the borderline of psychopathic obsession. It was easy, too easy to become obsessed with the Doctor, and she knew that all too well.

All those years of believing she had been just fine and one sight of him in the arms of another woman had sent her reeling right back into her past, where she made herself promise she would never go. Because it hurt too damn much.

And her actions that night only solidified her decision. She would miss him desperately, but she refused to hold on to something that was could no longer ever be hers. Reaching into her blouse, her fingers grasped metal that had been warmed from the heat of her chest. The chain snapped loudly in the night air as Rose yanked the necklace from around her neck. Her hands shaking with emotion, the key fell from her fingers as if in slow motion and clattered on the ground.

She wouldn't be needing it anymore.

Without a single glance back towards the TARDIS she used to know and love, she wiped away the final tears from her face as she headed off into the night.

* * *

A figure stood hidden in the shadows watching the blonde woman rush off into the darkness, her shoulders heaving in held-back sobs. The man waited a few more seconds until he was sure he was alone, before walking up to his old TARDIS and bending down to reach the key she had dropped. He picked it up and held it up to his aged face to look at it closer. As he looked up towards the direction Rose had fled, his gray hair seemed to light up from the light shed by the lamppost. His dark blue eyes, like an oncoming storm, showed not only shock but a sure determination.

"Rose Tyler." He whispered, his thick Scottish accent echoing in the bitter night.

* * *

 _ **Don't ask for a sequel! This story's finished, for now. I could be persuaded to write some Twelve/Rose in the future... ;)**_


End file.
